


Spring of Life

by torikasa



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-06 00:35:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5396072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torikasa/pseuds/torikasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hello! Thank you for ordering from the best android shop on the web! Please enjoy your android, and if you are not satisfied within a month, you can ask for a full refund. Please contact our support team for more information.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spring of Life

_Tap, tap, tap_ …

Fingers hastily glide across the keyboard.  _B-u-y a-n a-n-d-r-o-i-d o-n-l-i-n-e_ , Marinette types as the search engine promptly spits out a plethora of results. Naturally, she clicks on the first one and the screen immediately jumps to a fancy-looking website full of pictures of different android makes and models, all of different shapes and sizes.

Marinette stares at the page in disbelief, nodding her head sideways as if to rethink her decision.

Earlier today, her best friend Alya had been complaining to her about the fact that she is the only person in their class who doesn’t have an android yet—not even a tiny, pocket-sized one. Most people nowadays have at least the smallest android on the market, a thumb-sized android that can do anything a human-sized android can do; and everyone in their class seems to have the thumb-sized one, with the exceptions of Chloé Bourgeois and Adrien Agreste, who both have the latest Ladybug models, the most popular of the human-sized models (Chloé’s is specially customized with all sorts of special traits, the most notable being that his android’s hair is down rather than being in the Ladybug model’s signature pigtails; Adrien, she remembers as she does with everything he says, has said that he prefers to keep the default settings for his android).

Everyone likes to show off their androids, especially the ones fortunate enough to be able to afford a human-sized one. Even soft-spoken Nathanaël gloats about his thumb-sized Evilustrator model whose learned to be just as artistic as him.

Alya had told her that she “would be much better off in society with an android” and that she “would enjoy life a lot better with one”. Marinette had argued back that 1) people are too dependent on androids and she doesn’t want to become one of them and 2) androids are crazy expensive.

At that, Alya had pulled out her credit card and given it to her, smirking at her and telling her that she could buy any kind of android that catches her eye on the one catch that she buy it tonight; and if she didn’t pick an android by tonight, then grave repercussions will happen. What those repercussions will be, Alya didn’t specify, but Marinette knows what Alya is capable of and it won’t be pretty.

Now is tonight, and it’s already approaching midnight. Marinette continues to stare at the front page of the website until her eyes start stinging. A sigh jumps out of her throat as she frustratedly starts to browse the different models, none of them particularly catching her eye.

 _Maybe I should get a Lady Wi-Fi model like Alya’s…_  she thinks to herself, not amused by the prospect of having the same android as Alya. Her friend would probably complain about it incessantly, telling her that she’s a copycat and that she should be more unique about her android as they are commonly referred to as an extension of oneself.

After a few more minutes of searching, she realizes she had reached the end of the page already. She groans aloud, finding the situation absolutely hopeless and would rather face Alya’s consequences instead, her head plopping down on her keyboard. Her phone starts vibrating (Alya had scoffed at her earlier for still being one of the only few people still in possession of a cellular device) and she looks at the screen to see that it’s Alya.

_Remember: buy one by midnight or I’ll make your life miserable. :)_

The smiley face alone makes her shiver. She sets on searching through the website one more time in hopes that a second try will ultimately let her find something that catches her eye.

She scrolls and scrolls and scrolls, but still, nothing looks interesting enough to warrant her buying it (with Alya’s money). She looks at her clock and it reads 11:58 PM. Panic starts to bubble up inside her as she just clicks a random one, enters in Alya’s credit card information in record time, and orders it. Delivery estimated in a week’s time, give or take.

She lets out a sigh of relief as she texts her best friend confirmation that an order for a new android has been placed. Alya immediately texts back with celebration emoticons, then completely does a heel-face turn and starts spamming her with text messages with complaints about spending a lot— _a lot_ —of money on the android. Enough to “make her go bankrupt” apparently.

Marinette looks back at her screen and really starts to look at the android she had just blindly bought, reading the description first.

_The Chat Noir model._

_Indulge yourself in this luxury model, which is a new addition to the Ladybug series, with special features not normally found in regular models. This model is not just a pretty face but has some cat-tastic personality to boot, with a flirt option that will make even the stoniest, coldhearted person blushing like mad. Many will fawn over this android’s authentic cat-like instincts as well as its charming persona._

_This model specifically only comes in human size. It’s also a limited edition android with limited quantities, so act fast and buy one today!_

After reading the description, she starts to examine the example photos. The android is completely clad in a black spandex suit that looks clearly inspired by cats. It has wild blond tufts pointing in every different direction and jungle green eyes that reminds her of Adrien’s eyes. What isn’t so Adrien-like, however, is the smug smirk plastered on the android’s face. She rolls her eyes, already imagining how the android’s personality is probably just dripping in hubris. Then, she shrugs the thought away and looks at the price, her mouth gaping wide open at the high five digit number on the screen.

She immediately texts an apology to her best friend, adding an ocean of sad-faced emoticons to really show just how sorry she is and that she will cancel the order as soon as possible. Alya replies, saying that it’s okay and to not cancel the order, to just think of this as an early birthday and Christmas present for the next ten years, and to enjoy her future first android.

She tries telling her that she doesn’t want this particular model, that she blindly picked it out and would much rather have any other model but the Chat Noir model, but Alya is insistent and tells her to keep it or the same consequences will apply.

Another sigh yet again escapes her throat and leaps out of her mouth. She really, really doesn’t want the Chat Noir model. She feels like they won’t have any compatibility at all and it would be a total waste of Alya’s hard-earned money by not returning it. Her cursor hovers over the cancel button precariously as she fights with her inner thoughts about pressing it or not.

In the end, Alya’s threats of making her life miserable linger in her thoughts and completely outweigh her eventual misery with the Chat Noir model, so she ends up just closing the page and accepting defeat. Either way, she is going to suffer, but at least with a new android, everyone can stop bothering her about not having one, and maybe, just maybe, she’ll even be praised for having a “luxury” model at that.

 

* * *

 

 

_H-o-w t-o c-a-r-e f-o-r a-n a-n-d-r-o-i-d_

_Tip 1: always make sure to give your android all the love and attention you can muster. A neglected android is never good to have!_

_Tip 2: make sure to keep up with daily and annual maintenance checks. Even though they might look human, they still have mechanical parts inside them that need to be checked every so often._

_Tip 3: make sure to manage its memory accordingly. If an android gets overloaded with excess memory, it will start deleting the oldest memories in place of newer ones!_

_Tip 4: keep your android regularly charged. Just like humans, androids, specifically of the human size, require at least eight hours of charging time in order to function every day._

_Tip 5: if something goes wrong with your android, don’t be afraid to hit the emergency factory reset button! Unfortunately, all past memories and data will be erased, and all settings will return to the default settings; but most, if not all, problems will be remedied just by a simple press of a button._

_Good luck with your owner, android owner, and if you have any more tips, feel free to contact me about it and I’ll add it to the list!_

 

* * *

 

 

_C-h-a-t N-o-i-r a-n-d-r-o-i-d r-e-v-i-e-w-s_

_Edith Piaf: One of the best, if not the best, androids to date! Very loving and caring and makes me feel like I’m a schoolgirl all over again! Highly recommended!_

_Camille Pissarro: Maybe a little too clingy. Acts like a cat so treat him like a cat! Get him plenty of string and there won't be too many issues. 7/10._

_Jeanne Moreau: What a delight! He's really loving and makes you feel like you're 100% loved! I have no issues with him and have had him since launch, so up to four months and counting. If you don't have him yet and have the money to spend, then get him now! He beats Ladybug by a longshot!_

_Nadia Boulanger: I disagree with the review above. I have both the Ladybug model and the Chat Noir model, and the Ladybug model is far less annoying to me. However, the Chat Noir model does have its upsides, mainly in the pun department. He's silly and great with the kids. That's really it. Otherwise, go with Ladybug._

_Adrien Agreste: I bought him so my Ladybug model won't feel lonely. They both seem to have a lot of chemistry together. If they were real, I think they could really be great friends, maybe even lovers!_

(Marinette raises an eyebrow at this particular review, wondering to herself if this is  _the_  Adrien Agreste she knows and loves or is an imposter.)

_Brigitte Bardot: An excellent android to have. Very sweet and thoughtful and respects your space. I couldn't imagine having any other android!_

_Marinette Dupain-Cheng: I just ordered this particular model, but just from the picture alone, I'm already annoyed and considering sending it back. 2/10. (The two points come from each one of his eyes because at least they’re pretty.)_

 

* * *

 

 

A week flies past her in a blink of an eye. Alya has been calling her constantly, incessantly asking her if the package has arrived yet and to give her every single detail of the new android, with pictures and whatnot. Marinette had been waiting for what seems like hours since dawn for the package, the anticipation for that fated ring of the door bell swimming around in her stomach. She feels nauseous and about to pass out, trepidation glistening in her eyes, for she’s definitely not technology savvy and is afraid of everything that could go wrong. What if she accidentally breaks the android? What if she ends up making it explode? What if she somehow reprograms it into a metallic monster bent on destroying the whole world?

Nah, that can’t possibly happen, she thinks with a lighthearted laugh. Suddenly, her phone starts thinking mid-thought and she picks it up with one swift motion, answering it with her usual greeting. Alya is screaming on the other end of the line.

“Marinette, has it arrived yet? Tell me it has! I’m seriously dying with anticipation here.”

“No,” she says, rolling her eyes at her best friend’s unnecessary excitement. It’s just an android. Everyone has one. There’s no need to be excited about anything, especially considering it’s the smug Chat Noir model.

“Oh, c’mon. I’m coming over right now. It better be there when I arrive,” she says in a threatening, sneering voice before hanging up.

Marinette plops down on her couch, closing her eyes. Despite having a model she doesn’t particularly care for, she does wonder what having an android will be like. Surely her life will be a lot easier, especially considering the Chat Noir model not only has special features not found in other regular models but also is human-sized so he would be able to do everything for her, like her chores and her complete and utter bidding. She smirks at this, imagining the android in a maid outfit, then pushes the wanton thought out of her mind.  _How lewd, Marinette_ , she thinks to herself.

All of a sudden, she hears what she’s been waiting for the entire morning: the long awaited ring of the door bell.

She finds her feet take off like a rocket to the door. She opens it and there, in front of her, is a man with a clipboard, a huge box just barely big enough to fit a person inside next to him. He gives her a smile and hands her the clipboard, and she promptly signs it. He then wheels the box into her house and says a quiet goodbye before leaving.

Now all alone with her box, she starts ripping apart the box with a box cutter, slashing this way and that. She can’t believe it, but she’s a lot more excited about this than she initially thought she would be, so much so that she feels her heart racing and threatening to leap out of her chest any second now.

Upon ripping the box to shreds, Marinette peers inside and finds the Chat Noir model with his eyes closed. The android is hugging a manual. She takes the paper and starts reading through it.

_Hello! Thank you for ordering from the best android shop on the web! Please enjoy your android, and if you are not satisfied within a month, you can ask for a full refund. Please contact our support team for more information._

(That’s a relief, she thinks, already planning on returning the android after a month.)

_To boot your android, press on its chest which will open up its chest cavity to its core (or “power button”). Then, press the power button._

She stares at the android lying peacefully in the box. Maybe she should wait for Alya? But then she starts to imagine the android accidentally looking at Alya first and calling her its mommy, much like a newborn chick with its mother. Maybe she should start it before Alya gets here to prevent it from being attached with the wrong person.

She gently presses a finger against his chest, which ends up opening its chest to reveal a heart-shaped power button, just as detailed in the manual. She then presses on the power button, and immediately, the android opens its eyes and turns its head to look at Marinette. Everything about the android reminds her of Adrien Agreste, from the hair color to the eyes to the build and even right down to the voice. That alone makes her face as red as a ladybug’s back.

“Hello,” the android says, his voice like dripping honey—smooth and slow and sensual. “What is your name, master?”

She tenses at the nickname.  _Master_? As much as she enjoys being called something so superior, it seems so wrong being called master from someone so human-like. It makes it seem like a slave, and android or not, she doesn’t like it.

“I’m Marinette,” she says slowly, wondering how quickly the android can register her words. “Please don’t call me master ever again.”

“Understood, princess.” He takes her hand and, smoothly, kisses the top of it.

She retracts back with a glare. “Um, don’t do that or call me that either.”

“I can’t possibly resist a beautiful lady like yourself, princess,” he mewls softly, getting out of the box and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She tries pushing him away, but the android is persistent, leaning into her until she’s on the floor, Chat Noir right on top of her with a sly grin.

“Don’t make me turn you off,” she warns with a pointed glare, pushing against his chest.

He smirks, making her glare even harder. “I’ve locked my chest opening so you can’t get to it,” he says in a sing-song, mocking voice as he sticks his tongue out.

Marinette gasps aloud, furrowing her eyebrows as low as they can go. Not only is he smug, but he is childish beyond belief too! She starts slamming her fists against the android in frustration, but he only continues to grin at her, a toothy kind of grin that she wants to smack off and send flying into the stratosphere.

Just then, Marinette starts to hear footsteps followed by a gasp. She cranes her head and finds herself looking at an upside Alya, pointing at her and screaming

“ _What are you guys doing_!” she questions wildly, though her screeching makes it sound more like garbled pterodactyl noises.

“Alya, I can expl—”

“Your android will get dirty like this! This cost me a fortune, and I won’t let you ruin him!” she screams.

Chat Noir smiles sheepishly and gets off of the dark-haired girl. Marinette herself gets off of the floor, completely ignoring Chat Noir’s offer of helping her get up. She pats the nonexistent dirt off her clothing and looks at Alya, who looks relieved now that they’re both off the floor.

“Who’s this, princess?” the android whispers in her ear, his hot breath against her skin making her flush slightly. She shrugs the blush off and crosses her arms over her chest, explaining to him out loud that the ombre-haired girl is her best friend and specifying that she’s off limits flirt-wise.

“I would only flirt with you, princess,” it says, still smiling that awful smile. Her only response to that is a roll of the eyes.

Alya starts examining the android like a test subject, moving around hastily to get a closer look at him in every single angle. Chat Noir doesn't seem fazed by it and only revels in the attention.

“I wish you would look at me the same way your friend is looking at me, princess,” it says with a flutter of his light eyelashes.

She groans. “Alya, is there any way to make him stop saying all this stupid nonsense?”

Alya looks at her with a haughty, all-knowing look. “Well, I am an expert on all things androids. You can always readjust his settings. Just plug his core onto a computer and pick what kind of personality traits and other settings you want to adjust, and voila.”

“He locked his chest cavity, though,” she whines, feeling defeated. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Chat Noir yet again sticking its tongue out at her. She wants to jump up to it and yank that good for nothing tongue out, but she resists, knowing Alya would kill her if she even dare try breaking the android.

“That’s weird. Usually only owners can do that. Is he faulty or something?” She starts staring at the android with narrowed eyes now, examining him even further and making Chat Noir, surprisingly, uncomfortable.

“Um, are you done yet?” he questions with a shiver, his shoulders tense and his eyebrows seemingly furrowed (behind his mask).

Alya only laughs cynically, then looks at Marinette with a worried face. She whispers in her friend’s ear, “This android is faulty. It has some problems with it. I don’t know exactly what, but the main things I can tell from a glance is that he’ll break down faster than regular androids. Oh, and there might be some internal things that are wrong with him, like not being able to customize his personality traits.”

“Well, he doesn’t listen to me already,” Marinette says gruffly while crossing her arms over her chest, huffing up both her chest and cheeks in annoyance. “Maybe we should send him back. We can probably get a refund.”

“Human size orders usually don’t allow sending them back so quickly. You usually have to wait for a month to send it back,” Alya says with a sigh. “You’ll have to stick with this one for another month or so. Well, he seems to be functioning just fine at least, so have fun with him. Try to see if you can change his personality traits by plugging him up to a computer, then call me and tell me the deets.”

“Wait, don’t leave me all alone with him,” she whines as Chat Noir comes up to them and snakes an arm around her shoulders. She slaps it away and it starts to whimper softly, giving her its infamous pout.

“That hurt, princess,” it says, still whimpering.

Marinette lets out an aggravated, purposefully loud groan. “See, Alya? You can’t just leave me with him.”

“Uh, yes, I can?” the bespectacled girl says with a snicker. “I’ll come back tomorrow. Just tell me if you experience any problems and I’ll see what I can do, or check my android blog for some how-to guides.”

“Wait!” But before she can say anything more, Alya rushes out of her house, leaving her all alone with her pesky android. It looks at her with a huge grin, waggling his eyebrows behind his mask.

“So it’s just you and me now,” he says huskily, putting his arm back around her shoulder.

“Um, have you even heard of a personal bubble?” she spits out in a frustrated tone, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. “Look, hook yourself up to my laptop so I can see if I can change your personality traits and stuff.”

“I’d rather you not, but I would do anything for you, princess.” With that, a wire comes out of his ear and he plugs it into her laptop. A screen immediately pops up with all sorts of different options, from changing personal appearances to changing character traits. She starts to slowly scroll through the list, amazed at how many things you can exactly change about an android. You can customize them to be an entirely new android if you wanted to, and Marinette oh so wishes she could at least change Chat Noir’s flirty attitude and tone it down  _a lot_.

“Let’s see…” Sticking out her tongue as she thinks and scrolls through, she begins to fiddle around with all the different options and selects personality traits that she would like. Ultimately, she comes to realize that all the personality traits she picked are exactly what Adrien Agreste is like: sweet, caring, is respectful of personal bubbles. She then scrolls to the very bottom of the page and clicks the “apply” button, looking up at the wired up android to see if any changes were made.

Right now, Chat Noir looks blankly into space, its eyes having faint binary coding in them. Then, after just a few moments of processing time, it blinks and looks at her with a curious expression. “Did you change anything?”

“I  _tried_  to,” she says. “Do you… feel any different?”

“Not… really,” it says, confused. “I think I feel the exact same.”

“You  _think_?”

“Yeah, I’m not really sure. I feel like myself. I think I’m still at my factory settings.” It notices her anguished expression and tries to reassure her with a hand on her shoulder, smiling with an uncharacteristic empathetic look. “Most people keep the factory settings anyway, princess. Androids are happier with their factory settings.”

“Aren’t your feelings synthetic?” she asks, surprised by its sudden saddened expression. “I mean… Sorry, that was uncalled for. I guess I’ll keep you like this since I can’t change it anyway. Just respect my space more, okay?”

“Understood, princess. I’ll try to be less affectionate with you and respect your space,” it says as if it is hardwiring the information into its head (though it probably is, she thinks amusedly).

“Good, good. As long as you understand that, then we can be good friends for the next month. I’m going to call Alya and tell her what’s wrong with you. Then I’ll cook us up some dinner later. Is spaghetti okay with you?”

It nods, and she looks away, only catching a faint glimpse of a ghost of a frown on its face but she doesn’t think about it much, shrugging it off as a trick of the mind.

 

* * *

 

_W-h-a-t t-o d-o w-i-t-h a f-a-u-l-t-y a-n-d-r-o-i-d_

_If your android isn’t human-sized, you can usually return it to the company it came from with full refund. If your android is human-sized, most companies require you to keep it for at least one month before returning it to prevent too much loss of money from high shipping costs (human sized androids are very expensive to ship, especially considering most companies ship for “free”) as well as to prevent people from buying human-sized androids for only bragging rights and then sending them back right away, which became a huge problem years ago when androids were first introduced._

_Depending on how faulty your android is, however, human-sized or not, you can try talking to the company to see if they can arrange a deal to return it sooner than a month. They will only reconsider if the problem is huge. Problems that deal with small faultiness like not being able to change personality traits isn’t a good enough reason to be able to return it earlier than a month, unfortunately, even though it is ultimately a huge problem in the long run._

_There are some problems with androids that can be overlooked, like a faulty core. Having a faulty core is extremely rare, but having an android with one can result in many problems with more use, like not listening to the owner and eventually breaking down. Knowing if your android has a faulty core or not is almost impossible to tell until it’s too late, so it’s always good to have your androids checked by a professional to see if it possibly has one. If it does, you can use this explanation to return your human-sized androids for a full refund and immediate replacement too. Companies don’t like faulty cores, either, and will do anything in their hands to satisfy their customer if said customer just so happens to get one._

 

* * *

 

“That’s so cool, Marinette. We have the same android. I have a Chat Noir model back at my place, too,” Adrien Agreste says with an impressed tone, inspecting her android. Marinette can’t even speak. The only thing she can do is perpetually wave and stick on a huge, ear-touching grin. “You even kept the factory settings! I know a lot of people like to customize their androids, especially the human-sized ones, but I always keep mine with their factory settings. It keeps them authentic. Changing your android’s personality completely ruins the idea of choosing a different model anyway. Factory settings is seriously the only way to go. I don’t even know why they bother having personality altering options.”

Alya suddenly intervenes in the conversation, her thumb-sized Lady Wi-Fi android sitting precariously on her shoulder with the same exact expression as her. Marinette thinks, they look oddly similar, almost like a super mini-me for Alya. Alya coughs to capture their attentions. “I actually bought this for her since I’m  _so_  nice. Actually,” she says with a sly grin, winking at her best friend. “Marinette was wondering if you wanted to have a double date with her since her android has been feeling really lonely without a Ladybug. We can’t afford another android, so Chat Noir has no one to play with.”

“Well,” Adrien begins slowly, unsure. “I already have a Chat Noir to entertain my own Ladybug android… but hey,” he says, smiling at Marinette and holding her hands in his. Her head flies off of her neck. “I wouldn’t mind. I’m always willing to help out a friend. I’ll meet you tomorrow after school, Marinette?”

Said girl snaps out of her reverie and looks at her crush incredulously. Alya is a blessing to have, she thinks, her huge grin unwavering and stuck on her face. “Oh, uh, yeah, sure. Sounds cool, like you. I mean, sounds wonderful!”

“Okay, it’s a date then, Marinette. See you guys later.”

Alya starts elbowing Marinette, her smirk so big it’s almost surreal how it can still fit on her face. “You totally owe me so much for all this. First the android and now a date with your crush. Tell me I’m awesome, c’mon.”

“You’re… you’re so awesome, Alya,” she says, not being able to close her mouth. Her? On a date with Adrien Agreste? Her big crush? She has to pinch herself to make her realize this isn’t just a dream but a dream come true. She even blinks several times to really make sure this isn’t some trick, that this isn’t an illusion; and when she sees Adrien turn around and wink at her, she immediately gives in and realizes that this is all too real and that she really will be going on a date with him.

It’s almost too hard for her to breathe now. She feels her heartbeat racing and racing, trying to get to that ever-moving finish line, being just steps away but never quite getting there. She starts daydreaming about the date, how it would be perfect, just her and Adrien…

She blanches. Just her and Adrien…  _and their respective androids_.

Marinette is now tossing glares at Alya’s direction while the ombre-haired girl just looks at her curiously, wondering what in the world she did wrong. Oh no. She can’t possibly go on a date with Adrien with Chat Noir around. Her android, she thinks, will completely ruin everything and just constantly flirt between her and the Ladybug android.

She buries her face in her hands.  _Chat Noir will probably scare Adrien away from me_ , she thinks sullenly, her thoughts filled with all sorts of nightmareish possibilities of what would happen during the date—all the possibilities being ruined, somehow, by the annoying blond android.

 _No, no, I can salvage this somehow. Just teach Chat Noir how to be a decent human being. You have a day to teach him, Marinette, just try and work hard,_  she thinks, her thoughts slowly turning from solemn to an amalgam of excitement and optimism. Yes, she can somehow do this! All she needs to do is make Chat Noir into the perfect gentleman within a day. Then, Adrien will be impressed, fall in love with her, and they will end up having three—no two—babies!

Okay, back up a bit. Adrien will at least not be scared away from her and maybe even be impressed that her Chat Noir is so well-mannered. That’s something, right?

 

* * *

 

_H-o-w t-o t-u-r-n a n-u-i-s-a-n-c-e i-n-t-o a g-e-n-t-l-e-m-a-n f-o-r a d-a-t-e_

_Step 1: Dress to impress! In order to start to become a gentleman, you have to start looking the part. Wear something nice, especially if you’re going to a fancy outing or a date. A gentleman always wears a nice suit and tie, and his hair is always combed nicely and smoothly. Remember to wear a bit of cologne too! It’s always good to smell nice too and not just look nice! Also, as a special side note, make sure what you’re wearing is breathable! You don’t want to be all stuffy. Be comfortable in what you wear and be a gentleman about it too._

_Step 2: Be on time! Being fashionably late isn’t fashionable. It’s just annoying! Make sure to set an alarm and give yourself time to get to the destination, accounting for traffic or whatever else that can possibly hinder you. It’s better to be early than to be late, even if it’s just late by a few minutes!_

_Step 3: Table manners. Make sure you keep in mind of all the table manners you know and will learn. Don’t constantly use your phone. Chew with your mouth closed. Use your utensils properly. You need to keep all this in mind whenever you’re seated. Don’t turn off your date by showing them from the get-go that you don’t have any manners!_

_Step 4: Talk. Talk loud and properly enough to make sure they can hear properly. Maintain eye contact and always let the other person completely finish their thought before you start talking. Make sure to listen carefully and to show them you’re listening by occasionally referring back to what they say. Make sure you’re not talking while your mouth if full of food!_

_Step 5: Enjoy yourself! Not all gentlemen have to be stuffy. Be yourself but always remember to just make sure you follow proper manners. After all, being a gentleman is all about chivalry and having proper manners. Just remember a few simple things and you’re already a gentleman!_

Marinette rolls her eyes, closing out of the page and finding another website to help her in her pursuit to making Chat Noir a gentleman.  _This better work out,_ she thinks, shaking her head.  _Or so help me..._

 

* * *

 

Chat Noir sits precariously on a chair as Marinette peers at it with a stern expression on her face, akin to an uptight high school teacher’s face. “Now, Chat, we’re going on a date with Adrien and his Ladybug android.”

“I’d like for us to go on a date by ourselves,” it says bluntly, almost falling off of the chair.

Marinette sprays him with water, and Chat Noir reacts with a hiss. “Don’t play around in our chair,” she scolds with the mannerisms of a mother. Then, she says, “In order for us to go on a proper date with them, you have to learn how to be a gentleman.”

“I already am one,” it whines. Another spray, another hiss. “Stop spraying me with water! I’m not like an actual cat! It’s just annoying to me!”

“Then start acting like a gentleman,” she says with a huff.

“Fine, fine. There’s no need to train me anyway. Honest, princess,” it says with a wink. “I have gentleman program files in me. I know every kind of proper manner there is to know and then some.”

“I’m not convinced.”

It smiles smugly. “How about we have a practice date, just the two of us? Then I can show you that I can handle everything.”

She looks at the android suspiciously. But after a while of just staring with rising suspicions, she ends up just shrugging it off and accepting his offer on the condition that Chat Noir keep its hands to itself. Naturally, the blond agrees, and the two start running around to make preparations for their faux-date, adding flowers to the table for romantic atmosphere and even making authentic food.

After setting everything up, the two sit down (Chat Noir had pulled the chair out for her with his ever-loving grin) and start to eat and make casual conversation. She had expected the android to break down soon and revert back to its salacious flirting ways, but much to her surprise, Chat Noir remains tame—cool, calm, and collected with a hint of posh. As he had promised, he keeps his hands to himself and only entertains her with talk about anything interesting in his android life.

Marinette finds herself… oddly comfortable and somehow enjoying her android’s presence for once. She finds herself talking to him about a lot of things, laughing all the while and smiling at all his responses. He’s surprisingly… charming, and she doesn’t understand how—how this smug, forever-smirking cat boy can rile her up with blushes and smiles just by talking to her, just by smiling at her with that cute toothy smile.

She shakes her head. No way can she be falling for someone other than Adrien Agreste, especially someone who’s an android.

Yet…

“Princess,” he says endearingly, looking at her with his bright green eyes. “You look really red right now. Are you too hot? Want me to turn on the AC?”

She raises her eyebrows, surprised, looking away from him before responding. “I… I’m not… You’re very charming, Chat. Honest.”

“Oh?” His voice sounds amused, cocky. But instead of being annoyed, she finds her cheeks warming up ever more until they’re hotter than a star’s surface. “That expression looks beautiful on you, my lady,” he tries to say in a suave voice, but it ends up sounding choppy and robotic and embarrassed, his face turning as red as hers. He covers his face with his hand, acting uncharacteristically shy. She, too, buries her face into the palms of her hands, shaking her head all the while.

 _What is this? Why am I acting this way?_ she thinks, confused, wanting to bury herself underground and suffocate in the dirt.  _He’s an android. I can’t possibly… I like Adrien Agreste already._

But as if fate wants to toy around with her feelings, Chat Noir gets up from his chair and walks up next to her and whispers in her ear, “Sorry, I’m about to break my promise,” before kissing her on the cheek. His lips stay on her cheeks, which are burning hotter and hotter every passing second, before they start to trail along her jawline and onto her lips.

Naturally, she would push him away, but she feels weak, feels drunk off his lips. They’re soft and tender, unlike what she would imagine android lips being, and before she can savor the moment any longer, he breaks away, diverting his eyes away from her.

“Sorry,” he breathes out, still not looking back at her.

Dumbfounded, Marinette doesn’t saying anything; only stares up at the android with glittering eyes, her mouth slightly left agape. She can still fill the tingling feeling he has left on her lips, licking them and tasting the faint taste of spaghetti. She giggles to herself softly, then loudly, loud enough that it makes Chat Noir tense and look at her.

“What?” he asks, apprehensive.

“You taste like spaghetti,” she chokes out in between laughter, holding in on her hurting stomach.

He manages a smile before he bursts into his own laughter. “Shut up. You did too.”

The rest of the night, the two end up cleaning up their mess, talking all the while about anything other than the kiss. It was as if the kiss never happened, the two completely avoiding the subject of anything romantic altogether, but the memory is still fresh in her mind, and it makes Marinette smile the entire time.

 

* * *

 

_W-h-a-t t-o d-o w-h-e-n y-o-u f-a-l-l i-n l-o-v-e w-i-t-h a-n a-n-d-r-o-i-d_

_Falling in love with an android is fairly common, so don’t fret and think you’re “weird”. Androids are just like humans, moving like one, behaving like one, and even breathing and eating like one. The only problem is if the AI is advanced enough to allow for conscious reciprocation of feelings._

_If you happen to fall in love with an android, ask yourself constantly if you’re willing to spend your life with an unaging robot whose original purpose was to be your own personal device_ — _to entertain you, to help you out, not for you to love. Ask yourself if you’re willing to be judged by society in order to pursue and maintain your love for your android. You have to make sure you take responsibility for your love because right now, even if it is fairly common to fall in love with an android, the pursuit of these feelings are looked down upon in our society._

_This is a tough road to go through. If you need any support, please visit the online support groups listed at the bottom of this website. Talking about it with others who are dealing with the same thing you’re feeling will make you feel better and ultimately help you decide if you want to continue to pursue your feelings for your android or not._

 

* * *

 

After school, Marinette and Chat Noir comes dressed semi-fancy, waiting outside the front steps for Adrien and his android. The two haven’t spoken much to each other, the kiss still fresh in their minds, but Marinette still surprisingly feels comfortable with the silence, not being bothered by it at all and actually reveling in it. It gives her some time to herself to soak in the information from the support groups she has been talking to and helps her organize her feelings about Chat Noir.

So far, everyone she has been talking to has been relaying negative experiences with falling in love with an android and says the only real positives are the physical interaction, like kissing and hugging. She has decided to try to forget about Chat Noir, forget about the kiss altogether, and think of him as only her personal assistant and continue to pursue Adrien Agreste at that. It’ll be easy, she thinks.

Finally, after a while of waiting, the two show up in fancy attire. Adrien’s hair is slicked back and he’s wearing a white tux with a green tie. His Ladybug android’s hair is curled at the ends and is wearing a lush red party dress. They both look like a couple, but surprisingly, Marinette doesn’t feel jealous of that fact. She does, however, feel jealous at how Chat Noir is eyeing Ladybug, looking her up and down and blushing at the sight of her. She coughs aggravatedly, but it catches no one’s attention.

“Ready to go?” Adrien asks, not waiting for an answer back as he motions for Ladybug to go to her Chat Noir. Adrien himself walks up to Marinette and offers an arm to her, which she hesitantly accepts, her eyes darting towards the amiable Chat Noir talking to Ladybug, chatting away as if they had known each other for years. She seeths under her breath, but shrugs it off, trying to focus her attention on Adrien Agreste.  _C’mon, girl, you’re touching him right now_ , she thinks, slapping herself mentally.  _Why aren’t you screeching right now; or have you really fallen for Chat Noir so quickly?_

On the limo ride to the restaurant, Adrien tries to talk to Marinette about anything, but she finds it hard to concentrate on him with Chat Noir and Ladybug talking to each other so naturally. She tries to listen in to the conversation to see what exactly they’re talking about, but they’re both oddly quiet, almost as if they’re whispering to each other and—

“Marinette, are you okay?”

Blinking thrice, Marinette snaps out of her reverie and looks at a worried Adrien. “You’re not really listening to me. Do you feel okay?”

“I’m fine,” she says quietly. “Something’s just been on my mind lately.”

“Want to talk about it?” he offers kindly, smiling at her with that wonderful smile of his that always seems to make her swoon. This time, however, it doesn’t have the same effect. It leaves her feeling empty, as if all the previous affection she has shared for Adrien Agreste had left her in favor of Chat Noir—and all just because of a simple kiss. How pathetic is that?  _Really pathetic. Beyond pathetic, in fact._

“No, it’s fine, Adrien,” she says sullenly. Adrien gives her an unconvinced look but ends up not saying anything else. The rest of the ride to the restaurant remains quiet between the two, the only thing filling the empty air between them being the chatting between the androids.

The silence is uncomfortable, making Marinette squirm in her seat, but she tries to make the best of it by just thinking about Adrien. Just think about Adrien Agreste and you’ll be fine, Marinette. Still, lingering thoughts of Chat Noir invade her mind like little injections into the skin, and she shakes her head disappointedly at her lack of restraint. If anything, she should be spraying herself with water because she clearly is still mesmerized by the kiss—and everything else Chat Noir—that she can’t think straight at all.

Adrien Agreste, Adrien Agreste…

 _Chat Noir_.

 _Ugh, this is hurting my head_ , she thinks, holding her head desperately to comfort it. Suddenly, the limousine stops, signifying that they’re finally at the supposed destination for the double date.

The four walk out of the limousine and step into the surprisingly humble little restaurant at the corner of the sidewalk. Inside, the aroma of fresh food tickles her senses, and for a split second, all the thoughts that were hurting her head suddenly disappeared, all her worries vanishing at a snap of the finger.

But then, she sees Chat Noir and Ladybug being friendly with each other, and again, her headache returns and she feels like throwing up and all she wants to do is go home right now.

The group settles down at a booth. As the waitress takes all their orders, she hears Adrien trying to make conversation again and complimenting her on her outfit.

“It’s really nice, Marinette,” he says softly, smiling the cute smile she adores. Maybe used to adore. Either way, she forces a smile again, telling him a thanks before sneaking a glance at the boy next to her, who is looking lovingly at Ladybug. He’s completely smitten for the other android, she thinks, and it makes her sick. All his flirting was for naught. They were all lies—sick lies about how beautiful and pretty she is, how she is his “princess”. They were all lies, and she fell for each and every one of them.

As everyone’s food arrives, Marinette finds herself not being able to stomach down any of the contents of the dish. Not even the small little peas. Adrien is talking to her about his modeling career and asking her questions about her own life, and she tries to respond to the best of her ability—tries to respond with some pep and life in her voice—but it’s evident from her dreary tone that she’s not enjoying herself and is just letting everyone down.

Ladybug looks at her questioningly. “Adrien, it seems as though your friend here is sick.”

“I can confirm,” Chat Noir pipes in all of a sudden, touching a hand to her forehead. She knows it’s hot, but feeling Chat Noir’s hand on her skin makes it even hotter, she realizes. “She’s burning up. I should probably get her home. Sorry about all this.”

“It’s no problem at all. We can go on another date some other time when Marinette is feeling better,” Adrien says kindly, offering them a ride back to Marinette’s house.

On the ride back, she really does start feeling really woozy. So much so that she can barely keep your eyes open, her breathing becoming slow and ragged. She starts to slowly close her drowsy eyes, the last thing she sees is a worried Chat Noir looking at her, seemingly wanting to wrap her in his arms and scare her sickness away; and she tentatively reaches out to him, but before she can even touch him, her vision blurs and everything goes ebony.

 

* * *

 

When she wakes up, she finds herself in her room. She feels a presence by her bedside and immediately recognizes that it’s Chat Noir.

“I made you some soup. Do you want some?”

Begrudgingly, she grunts in agreement and takes the bowl, slurping up its contents like a cat. The soup is really good and tastes really homey, the heat massaging her already warm face.

“I should’ve recognized your symptoms earlier. It’s my fault you had to go outside like that, in front of Adrien, no less,” he says quietly, blaming himself.

Marinette finishes up the rest of her soup in one big gulp before speaking. “You know I like Adrien?”

“Well, it was a double date. I just assumed you did,” he says. “Sorry for kissing you. If I had known you liked someone else…”

“ _You_  like someone else,” she says with a huge huff, puffing out her cheeks like a chipmunk. “You flirted with me constantly, but it turns out you’re actually really into Ladybug, you fiend.”

“ _What_ ,” he says, his word sounding more like a shocked statement that a question. “Are you jealous or something?”

“ _Maybe I am_ ,” she growls angrily, putting the now empty bowl down.

Chat Noir looks at her with a small smile. “Oh, that’s precious. Come here.” And with that, he pulls her into a warm, fuzzy hug. She would’ve been happy, except she’s seething right now, and so she pushes him away angrily. Chat Noir gives her a hurt look. “What’s wrong, Marinette?”

“You already have  _Ladybug_ ,” she says, accentuating her name. She jumps out of bed and starts trudging away, walking up to her door.

“I’m a Chat Noir model. I naturally  _like_  Ladybug models. I can’t help it. It’s programmed inside me,” he explains, trying to pull her back into his arms but she only continues to trudge on, walking away from him. “Please don’t go, Marinette. I’m being serious here. I really do like you a lot. Like a lot. And—” He pauses, then whispers something softly, so soft that Marinette has to stop and think about it: “ _I think I’ve even fallen in love with you._ ”

“How can you be in love with me if you barely know me?” she asks incredulously, letting herself be pulled back into his arms. She feels him nuzzle his chin into her hair.

“Well, maybe being  _in_  love is going too far, but I’m at least interested in you. A lot. Way more than with Ladybug,” he explains, now nuzzling his entire face into her dark locks. “I want to know more about you. I want to know everything about you.”

Marinette stays silent, burying her face into his chest. She just wants to stay like this forever, with no worries, no problems—just relishing the simple moments in life.

“Please kiss me again?” he asks gently, his breaths softly hitting her face and making it warmer than it already is. His eyes look pleading, his ears cutely downturned, his mouth in a small pout. She thinks, ironically, that he looks like a small puppy right now, whining at his owner to pay attention to him and to hug and cuddle with him.

Marinette looks at him incredulously. “But… you’re an android,” she says in a matter-of-fact manner, looking away from his pleading eyes. Even despite that fact, even she…  _wants_  to kiss him, to be held in his arms and to be whispered sweet nothings to over and over again. Right now, she wants nothing else than to be able to feel that physical euphoric pleasure from being with him, even if their love can be classified as the forbidden kind. She continues, “I don’t want to kiss you. You’re just a robot to me.”

A lie. She gulps as his eyes peer at her. He sees right through her, she knows.

“You don’t think that.” His voice is almost too quiet for her to even hear, but she’s hyperaware of everything he does right now, being able to hear him crystal clear and more, being able to feel right down to the gentle featherlike finger brushes along her arm. “I  _know_  you want to kiss me too. You enjoyed it last time.”

“I already like someone else,” she tries to explain, moreso to reassure herself more than anything else, to make sure she doesn’t give in to her newfound desire to kiss Chat Noir silly, to make sure that she’s loyal to her crush on Adrien Agreste. But he looks unconvinced, unfazed, by her words and continues to brush his hands along her arms, gently coaxing her, gently making her submit to her own desires. “Chat Noir, I…”

He shushes her. “Say no more, princess. Just tell me what you really want and I’ll do it. Say yes, and I’ll kiss you. Say no, and I’ll leave you alone. It’s as simple as that.” He lifts her chin up with a single finger, forcing her to stare into his bright green eyes, shining with desire. “So, what will it be, princess?”

It takes her a while to really think about her answer. On one hand, she really, truly does seem to like Chat Noir and maybe, possibly, even wants to kiss him. On the other hand, he’s just an android; and even though he does have memories, even if he does look human-like, kissing him will only be a painful experience for her, for she knows everything will be for naught and that one day, all her sentiments and feelings for him will be a waste, for she will die long before his battery life will wear out. Loving an android is almost like loving an inanimate object, and no matter how much the object holds sentimental value, it will never last. Loving an android is practically a death sentence to her.

Yet, even with all the downsides, even when the whole world is against them, she can’t help it. She yearns to be with him, yearns to rub that smirk off his proud face with a brush of her lips against his. No one has ever loved her as much as Chat Noir loves her, and she thinks, she has never loved anyone else as much as she loves Chat Noir—not even Adrien Agreste, her longstanding crush, himself.

She loves Chat Noir. She loves him dearly, with all her life, and would want to do anything for him. So, with a simple yes escaping her lips, followed by a self-satisfied grin by none other than Chat Noir, they both find themselves lips against lips, chest against chest. His lips don’t taste like spaghetti this time, but Marinette isn’t sure how exactly to describe the taste except that it’s very much Chat Noir with maybe a hint of mint. She blushes slightly as it dawns on her that her lips probably taste like soup.

Their hurried heartbeats are in synch with each other's, pounding out a steady and fast rhythm that sounds as if it could burst at any rate now. Their legs and arms are intertwined in a tangled mess of limbs, but it doesn’t matter to her, because all she can think about is kissing Chat Noir.

Marinette finds herself melting in his arms, melting into his kiss. His lips are soft and wet against her own, and it feels like she’s kissing an actual person. She wishes, oh so much, that Chat Noir is an actual person, but no, fate has decided to toy with her and make her fall in love with an _android_ , of all things. Though, right now, that fact doesn’t matter. What truly matters right now is that they’re both in love and that they’re both kissing.

She starts to move her hands into his hair, weaving her fingers through his messy yet soft locks, pulling his head into her to deepen the kiss even more. He seems to react to this by smirking against her puckered lips, his lips vibrating with amused laughter.

He breathes against her lips. “You’re so cute… so perfect, my princess.”

And she flushes the deepest shade of red possible, her mouth fluctuating between a wide grin and a deep pout. “Whatever,” she tries to say nonchalantly, though it comes out as whimsical amusement, her giggles flowing through the air and dancing around them.

“Does this mean we’re dating now?” he asks innocently, leaving her lips in favor of leaving a trail of kisses around her cheeks in what seems to be the shape of a heart.

“I can’t be dating an  _android_ ,” she says with another giggle. Maybe the prospect of dating an android doesn’t seem too farfetched for her anymore, especially someone as charming as Chat Noir, but still, she feels a pint of guilt bubbling up within her—guilt that has arisen from betraying her long time crush on Adrien Agreste. But whenever she looks at him, she’s reminded of her crush; everything about Chat Noir is so very Adrien-like, it’s almost creepy—and that, possibly, is the reason that she likes him so much and yearns to be with him and wants to kiss him so badly. It’s almost like fulfilling her fantasies of being with Adrien, by being with Chat Noir, and that fact alone leaves an odd emptiness in a part of her heart—the part that still loves Adrien Agreste for himself.

But Chat Noir is a temptation, and she took him, wholly, without much hesitation. There really is no going back now.

“And I can’t possibly be dating a human,” he says, mocking her previous tone. “But all’s fair in love and war.”

Marinette gently pushes him away, and Chat Noir retracts respectfully, cocking his head to the side like an innocent little kitty cat. “It’s settled then. We’re not dating.”

“Then what do we call… this?” he asks, chuckling.

She pecks his lips softly, and he melts into a puddle of stutters. “Let’s just call it a little secret between you and me.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic came to be because 1) I've been listening to Spring of Life by Perfume on repeat and 2) I realized I haven't written Marichat yet and wanted to give it a try.


End file.
